Friday, December 25, 2009

What happens when a career coach loses her job?

Well, why should I be immune? About five weeks ago, I was finally cut loose from my cocoon of almost 13 years. I was "downsized" from my technology communications and learning job. (Actually, that word doesn't sound so bad, kind of like I lost weight!) After the initial shock (It's really happening to ME!), it wasn't as traumatic as I thought it would be. You see, I was ready to leave, more than ready. I had been languishing, feeling invisible and underutilized for years within my department, in a career that no longer fit the me I was becoming. I was still there because I had bowed to conventional wisdom and had resigned to stick it out until retirement. After all, I had a mortgage to pay and a son to support. Why rock the boat?

And then there was the coaching and training work I got to do outside my department, as part of the company's organizational development (OD) community. When they laid me off, my main regret was that I would have to leave THAT work; emotionally, I had already left my technology day job long ago. My next thought was, "How ironic, the career coach now has to coach herself." And then, "I'll be such a better coach having gone through what my clients are experiencing."

OK, so it wasn't a conscious choice. The universe got tired of waiting for me for over five years to take my coaching business full-time, and arranged it for me. Still, I was now out of the nest (prison?) and living authentically, in alignment, during so much more of my day than before. I could follow my own bliss more freely, something I 'd been telling my cllients to do for years. I was free to do what I love to do, coach, train, speak and write full-time.

This incredibly wonderful thought has staved off the panic that would normally accompany such an event. In fact, I've found courage in it. Better late than never. Almost overnight, I made the shift from hanging on to letting go. There was something about having no safety net that made me take a big leap. About that time, I also received some pretty powerful spiritual and other help from others (You know who you are!:))

I am now ready to take on or give up whatever I need to do to hold this here, because I've seen first hand the paralyzing and detrimental effects of fear. I've been outed. As a result, I've risen to the challenge and become more bold, creative and resourceful. And it's not only OK...it's essential to believe and trust in myself. Because I'm whom I'm leaping toward.

Sometimes we are so resistant to change (afraid and living in the fear), we forget to open our eyes and actually look at it (examine and live in the benefits). I found a photograph taken years ago when my son was just a baby. He was jumping into a swimming pool and I was attempting to catch him...except my eyes were squeezed shut! I was afraid of an object hurtling at me, yes, even him. Just yesterday, my now 18-year old son and I were in the backyard and I knew what was coming...snowballs, lots of them. This time, I noticed a different response. With eyes wide open, I was able to deflect the onslaught with courage and humor. And I realized how I had grown.

I wish you all courage, creativity, resourcefulness and fun this year in fulfilling your heart's desires.